Wesley Corpus

“TI know my soul has not prospered. JY know my conversation has not always been as in the presence of God. I know I have not been, nor yet am, as I desire to be, aserious, lowly follower of Jesus Christ. I have not been so exemplary in my behaviour as was consistent with the important work wherein I was employed. But, dear sir, let me beseech you, in God’s name, tell me, Do you really think, that, instead of profiting, I destroy others? that so by desisting to preach, I may perish alone, and not the people perish with me. O, sir, shall I be an instrument in the devil’s hand, to destroy the souls for ‘which Christ died? O that my tongue may cleave to the roof of my mouth, rather than I should continue to do this great evil! O Lord, be merciful unto me, and forgive my sin, for it is great! “JT am not guiltless: but, blessed be God, I have lately discovered, or rather felt, many things which were hinderances of the work of God in my soul. I saw them before; but I saw in vain. I was not restless to be delivered from them, and therefore they still continued as so many insurmountable barriers in my way. I have been lately in great trouble of mind; the reproofs I received putting me upon a narrow self examination, [ soon found many things wrong, and they lay su heavy upon me, that I went mourning all the day long. God only knows the uneasiness I felt: but, blessed be God, he did not leave me in distress; but in the midst of trouble sent me comfort. O may my soul for ever praise him!