Wesley Corpus

Sun. 19.--I only preached in the afternoon, at the Castle. On Monday night I was greatly troubled in dreams; and about eleven o’clock, waked in an unaccountable consternation, without being able to sleep again. About that time, (as I found in the morning,) one who had been designed to be my pupil, but was not, came into the Porter’s lodge, (where several persons were sitting,) with a pistol in his hand. He presented this, as in sport, first at one, and then at another. He then attempted twice or thrice to shoot himself; but it would not go off. Upon his laying it down, one took it up, and blew out the priming. He was very angry, went and got fresh prime, came in again, sat down, beat the flint with his key, and about twelve, pulling off his hat and wig, said he would die like a gentleman, and shot himseif through the head. Thur. 23.--Returning from preaching at the Castle, I met once more with my old companion in affliction, C. D. ; who stayed with me till Monday. His last conversation with me was as follows :-- “Jn this you are better than you was at Savannah. You know that you was then quite wrong. But you are not right yet. You know that you was then blind. But you do not see now. I doubt not but God will bring you to the right foundation; but I have no hope for you, while you are on your present foundation: itis as different from the true, as the right hand from the left. You have all to begin anew. I have observed all your words and actions; and I see you are of the same spirit still. You have a simplicity; but it is a simplicity of your own: it is not the simplicity of Christ. You think you do not trust in your own works; but you do trust in your own-works. You do not believe in Christ. You have a present freedom from sin; but it is only a temporary suspension of it, not a deliverance from it. And you have a peace; but it is not a true peace: if death were to approach, you would find all your fears return. But JI am forbid to say any more. My heart sinks in me like a stone.” /