Wesley Corpus

“Indeed the leading of the Spirit is different in different souls. His more usual method, I believe, is, to give, in one and the same moment, the forgiveness of sins, and a full assurance of that forgiveness. Yet in many he works as he did in me: giving first the remission of sins, and, after some weeks or months or years, the full assurance of it.” This great truth was further confirmed to me the next day by the conversation I had with Davin Nitrscuman, one of the teachers or pastors of the church ; who expressed himself to this effect :-- “In my childhood I was very serious; but as I grew up, was so careless, that at eighteen years old I had even forgot to read. WhenI found this, I was startled. I soon learned again, and then spent much time in reading and prayer. But I knew nothing of my heart, till about the age of twenty-six, I bought a Bible, and began to read the New Testament. The further I read the more I was condemned. I found a law which I did not, could not keep. I had a will to avoid all sin; but the power I had not. I continually strove; but was continually conquered. The thing which I would, I did not; but what I would not have done, that 1 did. In this bondage I was, when I fell into a fit of sickness; during my recovery from which, I felt a stronger desire than ever to avoid all sin. At the same time I felt the power. And sin no longer reigned over me. “But soon after I fell into grievous temptations, which made me very uneasy. For though I yielded not to them, yet they returned again, and again, as fast as they were conquered. Then it came into my mind, ‘I take all this pains to serve God. What, if there be no God? HowdolI know there is?’ And on this I mused more and more, till I said in my heart, ‘ There is no God’ { 92 REV. J. WESLEY’S JOURNAL. [ Aug. 1738.