Wesley Corpus

She was now more deeply than ever convinced of heart-sin, of unbelief in particular; and had such a sight of the excellency of faith, that she determined to seek it with all her heart. “In the May following, she was sitting in her room, lament ing her state, and crying to God for mercy, when suddenly she had a sight of our Lord, from the manger to the cross. But it did not bring comfort; on the contrary, it so heightened her distress, that she cried aloud, and alarmed the family; nor could she refrain till her strength failed, and she fainted away. Often her sleep departed from her; her food was tasteless, and she mingled her drink with weeping; being resolved never to rest, till she found rest in Him whom alone her soul desired. “It was not long before the Lord looked upon her. As she was in prayer, she had a clear representation of our blessed Lord as crowned with thorns, and clothed with the purple robe. July, 1767.] JOURNAL, 289 In a moment her soul rested on him, and she knew he had taken away her sins. Distress was gone; the love of God flowed into her heart, and she could rejoice in God her Saviour. Her soul was so ravished with his love, that she could not hold her peace, but cried out to all she knew, “You may know your sins forgiven, if you will come unto Jesus.’ “Yet a while after, she dressed herself as fine as ever she could, and went to worship God, as she expressed it, “proud as a devil. Upon the spot God convinced her of her folly, of her pride and vanity. She was stripped of all her comfort, yea, and brought to doubt the reality of all she had before experienced. The devil then laboured to persuade her that she had sinned the sin against the Holy Ghost; and pushed it so, that she thought her life would fail, and she should instantly drop into the pit. But the Lord did not leave her long in the snare; he appeared again, to the joy of her soul. Her confidence was more strong than ever, and the fear of God more deeply rooted in her heart.