Wesley Corpus

When he lay down, nature being quite exhausted, he immediately fainted away. He afterwards dropped into a sleep for some time, and, on waking, cried out with a pleasant smile, ‘Now, my dear, thou seest I am no worse for doing the Lord’s work. He never fails me when I trust in Him.” Having eaten a little dinner, he dozed most of the evening; now and then waking, with the praises of God in his mouth. At night his fever returned; but it was not violent; and yet his strength decreased amazingly. On Monday and Tuesday we had a little paradise together. He lay on a couch in the study; and, though often changing posture, was sweetly pleasant, and frequently slept a good while together. When he was awake, he delighted in hearing me read hymns, and treatises on faith and love. His words were all animating, and his patience beyond expression. When he had a very nauseous medicine to take, he seemed to enjoy the cross; according to a word which he was used often to repeat, “We are to seek a perfect conformity to the will of God; and leave Him to give us pleasure or pain, as it seemeth him good.’ “I asked him, whether he had any advice to leave me, if he should be taken from me. He replied, ‘I have nothing particular to say: The Lord will open all before thee. I said, ‘Have you any conviction that God is about to take you?” He said, ‘No, not in particular. Only I always see death so inexpressibly near, that we both seem to stand on the verge of etermity.’ While he slept a little, I besought the Lord, if it was his good pleasure, to spare him to me a little longer. But my prayer seemed to have no wings; and I could not help mingling continually therewith, ‘Lord, give me perfect resignation l’ This uncertainty made me tremble, lest God was going to put into my hands the bitter cup with which he lately threatened my husband. Some weeks before, I myself was ill of a fever, and not without danger. My husband then felt the whole parting scene, and struggled for perfect resignation. He said, “O Polly, shall I ever see the day when thou must be carried out to bury?