Wesley Corpus

When he had any nauseous medicines to take, he seemed to enjoy the cross, according to a word he used often to repeat, that we are to seek a perfect conformity to the will of God, and leave him to give us what comfort he saw good. I asked him, whether he had any advice to leave me, if he should be taken from me: He replied, `I have nothing particular to say: The Lord will open all before thee.' I said, `Have you any conviction that God is about to take you' He said,`No; not in particular; only I always see death so inexpressibly near that we both seem to stand on the very verge of eternity.' While he slept a little I besought the Lord, if it was his good pleasure, to spare him to me a little longer; but my prayer seemed to have no wings, and I could not help mingling continually therewith, `Lord, give me perfect resignation.' This uncertainty made me tremble, lest God was going to put into my hand the bitter cup which he lately threatened my husband. Some weeks before, I myself was ill of the fever. My husband then felt the whole parting scene, and struggled for perfect resignation. He said: `O Polly, shall I ever see the day when thou must be carried out to bury How will the little things which thy tender care has prepared for me in every part of the house, -- how will they wound and distress me! How is it I think I feel jealousy! I am jealous of the worms. I seem to shrink at giving my dear Polly to the worms!'