Wesley Corpus

‘I was a little surprised, in going out of the room, at one who catched hold of me, and said abruptly, “I must speak with you, and will. I have sinned against light and against love.” (N. B. She was soon after, if not at that very time, a common prostitute.) “I have sinned beyond forgiveness. I have been cursing you in my heart, and blaspheming God, ever since I came here. I am damned: I know it: I feel it: I am in hell: I have hell in my heart.” I desired two or three who had confidence in God, to join in crying to him on her behalf. Immediately that horrible dread was taken away, and she began to see some dawnings of hope.’ (ii. 333.) ‘The attention of all was soon fixed on poor Lucretia Smith. One so violently and variously torn of the evil one did I never see before. Sometimes she laughed till almost strangled; and then broke out into cursing and blaspheming; then stamped, and struggled with incredible strength, so that four or five could scarce hold her; then cried out, ‘O eternity, eternity! O that I had no soul! O that I had never been born!” At last she faintly called on Christ to help her; and the violence of her pangs ceased.’ (ii. 347.) It should be remembered, that from that time to this, her conversation has been as becometh the gospel. ‘Thursday, December 25, I met with such a case as I do not remember either to have known or heard of before: Lucretia Smith (the same person), after many years’ mourning, (long before she heard of us,) was filled with peace and joy in believing. In the midst of this, without any discernible cause, such a cloud suddenly overwhelmed her, that she could not believe her sins were ever forgiven at all, nor that there was any such thing as forgiveness of sins. She could not believe that the Scriptures were true; that there was any heaven, or hell, or angel, or spirit, or any God. One more I have since found in the same state: But observe, neither of these continued therein; nor did I ever know one that did. So sure it is that all faith is the gift of God, which the moment he withdraws, the evil heart of unbelief will poison the whole soul.’ (ii. 410.)