Wesley Corpus

Why will Aspasia let in these unpleasing thoughts, these uneasy fears upon me From your long silence I can't but apprehend either that you have been out of order, or that I have been so unhappy as to displease you by some indecent or foolish expression. What shelter can I fly to from these apprehensions, unless it were possible to take in a strict sense that strange intimation you have sometimes given of being afraid to converse with me O Aspasia, if you are afraid you can't come up to the character given you by our dear Varanese, how can I hope to reach that which equal kindness but not equal justice drew What excuse does your fear leave my presumption how can I speak, if you are silent I have reasons enough (if any reasons could be enough to keep one so obliged as me from owning it) entirely to decline an intercourse which every step I take shows me unfit for; in which I can no more keep up to the spirit of Aspasia than I can in this or anything answer her expectations, and expectations for which you have too much ground; which, considering the many advantages I have long enjoyed over and above the friendship of our Varanese, though I cannot, I ought to satisfy. I ought to be some way useful to you, as you have been many ways to me. I ought to have turned that charming freedom you indulge me in to yours as well as my own advantage; to have employed it the most generous friendly way, in endeavoring to correct those failings in Selima and Aspasia (for surely no human creature is wholly spotless) which I have not yet so much as observed. I ought--I know not what. When will these two or three weeks be over, that I may speak what I cannot write [See letter to his father (Dec. 11, 1730) about going up to Westminster, and letter of Jan. 27 to Mrs. Pendarves.] It is in your power to make them move less slow. A line from Aspasia or Selima would make the time roll more swiftly, as it would, I hope, remove the apprehensions of Your CYRUS. Mrs. Pendarves replies: NEW BOND STREET, January 15, 1731.