Wesley Corpus

To Ann Loxdale Date: NEAR LONDON, November 21, 1783. Source: The Letters of John Wesley (1783) Author: John Wesley --- MY DEAR MISS LOXDALE, -- It is probable your letter came to Bristol during the time of my illness, and was then laid so carefully by that it never was found since. I have reason to think some other letters wrote about that time met with the same misfortune. One in particular from a lovely woman at the Hague, which I was exceedingly sorry to lose. [The letter from Mm. M.F. Loren, dated Hague, July 16, 1783, was apparently found afterwards, and appears in Arminian Mag. 1792, pp. 50-1. Wesley describes the family in Journal, vi. 421, 427: see also letter of July 20.] I believe Mr. Walsh’s nervous disorders gave rise to many if not most of those temptations to which many persons of equal grace but firmer nerves are utter strangers all their lives. As you never yet experienced anything of the kind, so I am persuaded you never will. Yet I do not wonder at the horrid temptations of Gregory Lopez; because he was in a desert--that is, (so far) out of God's way. I see much of the goodness and wisdom of God in the particular trial you are now under. As you speak to me without reserve, I will speak to you in the same manner. But summon up all your faith and resignation, or you will not be able to bear it. I cannot doubt at all but some years ago he was earnestly seeking salvation. But I have more reasons to believe that he is now far, very far, from it. It was with doubting conscience I refrained from expelling him the Society: (1) because I heard he was deeply, uncommonly covetous, and because I knew that he mortally hated Mr. Rogers and did him all the ill offices he could; (2) because he equally hated that blessed creature Hetty Roe; and (3) because he is a determined enemy to perfection. [See letters of July 24, 1782, and Dec. 9, 1783.] Herein I have given you strongest proof of the sincerity with which I am, my dear Miss Loxdale, Your affectionate friend and brother.