Wesley Corpus

“Their preaching now took deeper hold of me than ever, and searched every corner of my heart. I saw I had nothing to bring to God, and was Jan. 1751. ] REV. J. WESLEY’S JOURNAL. 307 indeed vile in my own eyes. When my friends sometimes told me, how good I had been, their words were as sharp swords. I found I had nothing to trust in, but the atoning blood. But this trust kept my soul in constant peace. “Thus I went on a considerable time, before I admitted any serious reflections concerning the ordinances; which indeed [ did not care to think of at all, till one day reading in the third chapter of St. John’s Gospel, ‘Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God:’ the words struck me to the heart; I began to read aver again, with all attention, what was written on both sides of the question. But this gave me no satisfaction ; so I tried another way, giving myself up to earnest prayer, that God would guide me by his word and Spirit, into all that he required of me. “‘ However, these thoughts died away, and I was quite easy about it, till one Sunday, at Devonshire Square meeting, it was brought to my mind in such a manner, that I believe the seat shook under me. I then plainly saw it was my duty, and determined to delay no longer: for that purpose I went to Cowley two or three days after. But all the night before it was to be done, I was in deep distress. I spent all the hours in weeping and prayer; and yet, as the morning drew on, my trouble increased, with strong terror, as if I was just going to execution. But I remained fixed in my purpose: and as soon as I was baptized, all the clouds dispersed, and I rejoiced more than ever in God my Saviour.” Wed. 16.--I received another letter from a friend, on a subject of general concern :--