Wesley Corpus

“I was immediately changed in my dress, conversation, and whole deportment; which brought on me the ridicule of all my acquaintance : but nothing moved me. I wondered what the cross meant; for whatever appeared to be the will of God, I ran cheerfully to do, without a moment’s hesitation. I felt no temptation to anger, pride, or any other evil. Though often provoked, I was not ruffled in the least. God seemed to reign in my heart alone. He was all my desire, all my hope: and this light lasted about three months, without any cloud at all: ‘“ But after this it pleased God to remove all at once. the veil, which, til then, covered my heart; though I do not remember that any disobedience preceded ; for I feared sin more than death or hell. Yet ina moment such a scene was opened to me, that if I had not felt the hand of God underneath me, I should certainly have gone distracted. The infernal regions were represented to my view, day and night. At the same time I saw what I was by nature, and what I had deserved from God for all my sins. O how did Satan then strive to tear away my shield; and what a burden of sin did I feel! It is impossible to describe it. If I looked from God a moment, I was full of horror. I often feared I should lose my senses ; but had no thought of death, nor fear concerning it. Yet hell appeared to me without a covering, and I seemed surrounded with devils, sleeping. and waking. But I still held this fast, ‘ Thou hast forgiven me, O my God; and I will not let thee go.’ ** All this time I constantly attended the preaching; and, having a strong desire to know whether friend Wesleys lived the Gospel, as weil as preached it, I got acquainted with one who lived at the Foundery. I frequently sat and worked with her, and made all possible inquiries into the most minute circumstances of their behaviour. This afterward proved a great blessing to me; for when I heard any idle report, (and I heard not a few,) I could answer peremptorily, ‘ I know the contrary.’