Wesley Corpus

“In this state I was when I came to Hernhuth, about fourteen years - ago. And every day for a full year, from morning to night, I groaned under this unbelief. Yet I prayed continually, unbelieving as I was; particularly one Sunday, when being in the church of Bertholdsdorf, and quite weary of hearing so much of Him whose very being I did not believe, I vehemently said, ‘O God, if thou be a God, thou must manifest thyself, or I cannot believe it.’ In walking home I thought of an expression of Pastor Rothe’s, ‘ Only suppose these things are so: suppose there be a God.’ I said to myself, ‘ Well, I will, I do suppose it.’ Immediately I felt astrange sweetness in my soul, which increased every moment till the next morning: and from that time, if all the men upon earth, and all the devils in hell, had joined in denying it, I could not have doubted the being of God, no, not for one moment. This first sweetness lasted for six weeks, without any intermission. “T then fell into doubts of another kind. I believed in God; but not in Christ. I opened my heart to Martin Doéber, who used many arguments with me, but in vain. For above four years I found no rest, by reason of this unbelief; till one day, as I was sitting in my house, despairing of any relief, those words shot into me, ‘God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself.’ I thought, ‘Then God and Christ are one.’ Immediately my heart was filled with joy ; and much more at the remembrance of these words which I now felt I did believe : ‘The Word was with God, and the Word was God. And the Word was made flesh, and dwel among us.’