Wesley Corpus

“ About this time there was a great talk of Methodism, and a cousin of mine was brought to seek the Lord. I went to visit her in January, 1751, and told her, before I came away, I knew I was not what I ought to be. and should be glad to be instructed. From this time we carried on a correspondence, and by degrees light broke in upon my heart. But alas! though I well knew that in me was no good thing, and seemed to disclaim my own righteousness, yet the idol lurked within, and I really trusted in my own prayers and other duties. In this manner I went on that whole year; toward the end of which my corruptions were more violent. Sin took occasion by the commandment, and I was often ready to be carried away by the torrent. “ February, 1752, it pleased God to take my dear friend. This appeared to me a heavy judgment; yet I afterward saw how it was tempered with mercy, as it taught me to trust in none but the everlasting arm. .Her death happily proved the occasion of her eldest sister’s conversion. The blessing of a Christian friend was restored to me, and we received each other as from the Lord. “In 1753 and 1754, I had great outward afflictions, and at times strong inward conflicts; though, blessed be God, I generally found comfort in pouring out my complaints before him. But toward the end of 1754 I began to feel my hope decline; and for several nights in secret prayer I was in strong agony of spirit. The Lord then, while I was upon my knees, stripped off all my fig leaves. At the same time he showed me the all-sufficiency of Jesus Christ to save sinners, to save me, the chief; and I was enabled to cry out, ‘My Lord, and mv God! I have redemption in thy blood.’ From this happy time I went on my way rejoicing, though I was, at times, grievously assaulted, both by the stirrings of my old corruptions, and temptations from the devii, blasphemous thoughts in particular. I always experienced something of this before the sacrament ; but the Lord made a way for me to escape.