To Ebenezer Blackwell Editor's Introductory Notes: 1759 1 EVERTON, March 2, 1759. DEAR SIR, When it is probable I may alter my judgement or practice, I am very willing to speak upon any head. But when I am clearly and fully fixed, then I do not speak; for it would be lost labour. For this reason I did not speak the other night; because I was fully fixed. My wife picks my lock and steals my papers. Afterwards she says, 'You cannot trust me.' I answer, 'I cannot, till you restore what you stole and promise to steal no more.' She replies, 'I will burn them, or lodge them with another, on such terms.' I answer nothing. Do you ask, Why so! I answer to you: (1) I will not consent my goods shall be burnt, much less accept it as a favour: I require her to restore them. (2) I will not thank her for lodging them with another: I require that they be restored to me. (3) I will not so much as consider the terms: I require the restitution of my own goods without any terms. And I know you would do so were it your case. And so would any man of common sense. 'But she will not restore them.' Then she must keep them. But let her not blame me because I cannot trust her. Permit me to add one word to you. You think yourself a match for her; but you are not. By her exquisite art she has already made you think ill of two very deserving women. Mrs. Ryan and Mrs. Crosby. See next letter and that of July 12, 1758. And you have been more than once much puzzled what to think of me! Nor could you help thinking me a little in the wrong. I am almost afraid she likewise entertains you with the faults of many in the Society; the knowing of which (be they real or feigned) does you no good at all. O sir, let us look inward; let us live at home! The more we know of our own faults and the less of other people's, the more will the work of God prosper in our hearts. Wishing all happiness to you and yours, I am, dear sir, Your affectionate servant

From Ebenezer Blackwell Editor's Introductory Notes: 1759 DEAR SIR, I this day received your favour of the 2nd inst. I am sensible of my incapacity either to speak or write in that lively, concise manner you do; but as well as I can I will paragraph by paragraph give a direct answer to your letter. And, first, I desire never to interfere between you and Mrs. Wesley, without there is at least a probability of my being of service to one, or (what I would much rather wish) to both of you; and I declare I have seldom if ever spoken of one to the other without being first desired either by yourself or Mrs. Wesley. Therefore you may be assured I will not in the least hinder your maintaining the authority of the husband in the greatest latitude that either myself or any man of common sense would wish. I likewise say that I do not think myself a match for Mrs. Wesley or any one that studies to deceive me; but I deny that by any exquisite art she has made me think ill of two very deserving women. I suppose you mean Mrs. Ryan and Mrs. Crosby. The first I know nothing of, having never seen her in my life, and hardly ever (for I won't say never) spoken of her to anybody but yourself. The latter I only know from the letter wrote by yourself, which she owned to me was her handwriting, and which I think will plainly prove to every one of common sense that she is not that very deserving woman you think her; and, permit me to add, I am afraid she has too much art for my dear friend.

I think my behaviour must fully convince you what my thoughts have been of yourself. When I have spoken to you, it has been without reserve; and if at any time I have expressed myself a little freer than many others would dare to do, do not think the harder of me, for indeed it has constantly been with a view if possible to have established peace between yourself and Mrs. W. And I seldom if ever see Mrs. Wesley from the time you leave London until you return, and would even then be glad to be excused that honour if it was not out of civility to yourself. Therefore she has no opportunity, or if she had I dare not give encouragement to her or any one, to entertain me with the faults of any either in your Society or not. Indeed, sir, I am sensible, if I did, it would very much hurt my soul. And yet, alas! I have been often much hurt, though I dare not blame my dear friend on that account, and yet must declare what you have said, and what I have seen of your brother, has very often much grieved and stumbled my poor soul. I feel I have an evil heart; I know I am not renewed; and I earnestly wish that my own faults were more and more engraver on my mind, that so I may never rest until I am born again and have the image of God stamped on my soul. I earnestly wish you all happiness, and pray that the peace and love of God may continually attend you. I am, dear sir, Your very affectionate and much obliged servant, EBENEZER BLACKWELL.