To Mrs. Pendarves September 28 1731. I could not be unmindful of Aspasia in the stormy weather we had at the beginning of this month; though I did not receive your last till near three weeks after, when you too, I hope, had ended your journey. 'Tis not strange that one who knows how to live should not be afraid to die; since the sting of death is sin. Rather it would have been strange if Aspasia had been afraid, if either her nature or her faith had failed her: as well knowing that where death is the worst of ills there it is the greatest of blessings. I am very sensible of the confidence you repose in me, in telling me the whole of your friend's case-illness. The symptoms you mention are these: (1) the expecting great civilities from her acquaintance, with an aptness to think herself neglected by them; (2) a deep sadness upon the apprehension of their unkindness and the supposed loss of their affections, which often carries her to such a length as to believe that God will forsake her too; (3) a desire to be equally well dressed with her companions, though she has not an equal fortune. The first question is, therefore, what disorder it is that is the cause of these effects. One person I knew who had every one of these symptoms: she expected great civilities, and was extremely apt to think her acquaintance neglected her and showed less respect to her than to other people; the apprehension of whose unkindness, joining with ill-health, sometimes made her deeply melancholy. I have often known her pained at being worse dressed than her companions, and have heard her say more than once that few trials she had met with in her life were harder to be borne.

Is it not likely that it was the same cause that produced the same effects in both these persons If so, we are not far from finding what it is; for in one I knew it was chiefly vanity. Her sense of honor was not under due regulation; she was too fond of being admired, and therefore could ill bear to miss of this, but much worse to be contemned; and from too strong a desire of being approved and too great an aversion to being despised, which was her original distemper, wholly proceeded those painful symptoms. She seldom thought she met with respect enough, because she loved it too well; the least shadow of disrespect pained her, because she hated it too much. Hence, too, she dreaded whatever might expose her to it, and therefore was uneasy when less well dressed than her companions. Perhaps her taking their supposed unkindness so deeply might flow from a better fountain. Is too tender a sense of the loss of a friend's affection a necessary proof of vanity May we not put a milder interpretation, even upon an aptness to suspect it where there is no real ground of suspicion This is a weed; but is it not the weed of an excellent soil for Such flaws are found in the most noble natures. It seems probable that this is the disease of yours as well as of my acquaintance, namely vanity; which you justly distinguish from pride, though indeed they are nearly related, pride regarding (as you well observe) our opinion of ourselves, vanity the opinions of other men concerning us: the former being immoderate self-esteem, the latter immoderate desire of the esteem of others. The proper remedy for either of these distempers you rightly judge to be humility. But how to infuse this God knows. With men it is impossible.

I know none more likely to be an instrument in His hand to perform this work of omnipotence than Aspasia. For you will not depend on your own strength while you insinuate to her the great cause of her melancholy; while you use all your address to make her sensible how apt vanity is to steal in even upon the best tempers; how useful it might be, seeing nothing but the finger of God can cast out this stubborn spirit, to mix with (intersperse) all our solemn addresses to Him with particular petitions against it. O Aspasia, how amiable do you appear while you are employed in such offices as these, especially in the eyes of Him who seeth more clearly than man seeth ! how just a return are you making to Him for the talents He has bestowed upon you I and how generous a use of your power over your friends while you thus direct it all to their advantage ! Watch over me too for good, Aspasia. Though we are far, far divided as to our persons, yet let your thoughts (at least morning and evening) be with Your most obliged friend and servant, CYRUS. Is there need for Aspasia to desire one thing twice of Cyrus or Araspes I hope both of them are more sensible of their obligations to her. Adieu.